KL Metzger was born in California but raised in Buckeye country with three siblings, an invisible friend, five dust bunnies, and one pink shag carpeted room. Occasionally, she lost a shoe cutting across muddied fields on the way to the store while dreaming of the big city life. She never went that way again upon settling in Virginia Beach.

Never having owned nor driven a Dodge—but she has had her car of choice egged and toilet papered several unfortunate times—she has on occasion taken a train, plane, or bicycle to get to where she forgets she was going; has grown a rotten tomato or two—no idea why; giggles over her inherited talent of doing things backward—mostly, because it’s fun; mostly, because it drives everyone else crazy.

After her latest adventure, Metzger was last seen scarfing down a six pack of ho-ho’s, yanking bubble gum from her hair, and heading for the beach. If you can find her, make sure you’re packing margaritas!