BY: E. LESSLY TAYLOR
What do you do when you finally find that person—the one who reaches so deep into your soul you fear the loss of your own identity? And once you’ve found each other is there any outside influence that can possibly come between two people who love so deeply? Mike and Toni didn’t believe anything could destroy their happiness, until something unexpected caused such an upheaval that she ran off to Florida in anger, and he became so depressed he chose to drown himself in a bottle. What could have happened to tear apart their nirvana, another man or another woman? No. Not even that could separate them. But can any relationship, even one that runs so deep and true, survive the terrible curse of AIDS?
TAYLOR JONES SAYS: In Unbroken Blue Light by E Lessly Taylor, Toni and Mike are soul mates who have finally found each other. Both have had disastrous relationships in the past and are extremely thankful for the love they have found. The only “fly in their ointment” is that they want the same happiness for their two best friends who don’t seem to be as much in love. That is, until AIDS raises its ugly head and Mike and Toni’s relationship is destroyed. How will their love survive?
Heartbreaking, timely, and poignant, this is a story you won’t soon forget.
REGAN MURPHY SAYS: Unbroken Blue Light by E Lessly Taylor is the story of two disillusioned people who finally find true love with each other and begin to plan their future together, only to be torn apart by AIDS. While the story mainly focuses on the two lovers, it also touches on racism, bigotry, and the sacrifices people make for those they love.
A truly moving and poignant story, Unbroken Blue Light offers hope in the face of hopelessness. It will warm your heart while breaking it. It’s a book everyone should read.
Again, as the roar of the jet engines increased, she found herself staring blankly out the window as words of regret painted a bleak picture of her future. Once, it was the foolishness of youth that led her to trust in her feelings. To find justification in giving herself to a stranger whose music touched her hidden places. That wasn’t uncommon. Young girls often fell victim to those awakening vibrations.
But how could she let that happen–again? How could she not see she was being used this time? The days of new explorations where a forgotten memory, weren’t they? Didn’t the title of woman signify she could no longer be so easily deceived? That first time…
As her thoughts drifted into the past, she peered out the window. That first time should have been the last time…
The solitude they once passionately embraced now felt like an unwanted friend–like when you desperately sought to be alone with a special him or her and the third person never caught your hint and hit the road. They had finally found that solitude as large trees spread their branches overhead, adding shadows to their intimacy. No cars had driven past where they parked, but that was to be expected here. It was a first-come secluded place for those seeking the dark shadows without previous reservations. But something else was now present between them.
An hour ago, they were surrounded by loud music, and a wild laser light show as his rock band played in a room packed with roudy young people dancing, drinking, smoking, and a few locked in the shadows exchanging bodily fluids. In a spontaneous act, the musician, and the music lover, secretly fled that insanity and now found their own solitude.
The deed done, the silence between them now made her feel uncomfortable. Add to that being surrounded by opaque car windows weeping from the steaming effort moments ago that encapsulated the silence.
Now was the moment when good girls saw through the haze and regretted their often-impulsive actions. Toni DiNardo, the young woman lying in the shadows of a back seat, became another one. She closed her eyes and tried to ignore what she had done. Maybe if she had found something in the deed worth having degraded herself–but, no, she only felt used. There was little hurry to start searching for her underwear when noticing her partner in this crime now sitting up with his head back, eyes closed, and taking long drags on a twisted brown cigarette, with his shirt off, his pants down around his ankles, yet seemingly oblivious to her.
Toni was lying on her side with her knees up to her chest, her blouse off with her bra covering one breast and the other cup around her neck. Other than the one arm, he never gave her the chance to completely remove her bra. The expensive dark brown leather skirt, she excitedly purchased for the concert, lay bunched up around her waist, and one of her shoes was missing she noticed when she moved her toes. As she started to panic, another thought crossed her mind. She finally spotted her black beaded clutch bag, she had borrowed from Katie, lying on the floor partially covered by his pants.
Toni thought about sitting up and getting dressed before someone came along, adding to her embarrassment, when she took a deep breath and came to a more important decision. This would be her last time in the back of a four-wheeled motel. His disdain for herself afterward was copacetic. In her own words to her girlfriends, ‘Anyone lying in a pigsty, is also a pig, whether they go oink or not.’ And he was giving her all the respect, or disrespect, she deserved.
When she did sit up, he ignored her and kept his head back, and his eyes closed, smoking as if it was his reward and not the free milk he received from the cow. She sighed deeply, raised her hips, and pulled her black leather miniskirt down over her bare ass. That free breast he’d been sucking on came next as she covered it with her bra. Even as she picked up and put on her blouse, the nameless drummer of the band Black Rain, who suggested they get away from the madness and smoke some weed after their last gig, never bothered to open his eyes and acknowledge her presence or cover up the little pink thing between his legs.
It’s the hypnotizing beat of the drums, she conceded as she found the missing shoe but not her red thong panties, that turns me on. The hard rock music scene, and the ever present cloud of weed in the room, was what started her dreaming–and dreaming too much was Ms. Toni DiNardo’s crutch. Someday, she envisioned, she would find her Mr. Wonderful, and he would be playing his heart out in a hard rock band. Being passionately into the music of her time, she believed the love of her life existed somewhere in that venue.
This was the third member of a visiting band the eighteen-year-old gave her…ah, milk…to this summer. Funny thing was each was the band’s drummer. Not the hot lead singer, with the tight leather pants and flowing long blond hair that all the other groupies wanted, or the hunk usually on lead guitar and dazzling everyone with his talented fingers. No, it was the drummer that made her…moist. Something about the pounding of the drums that stirred the beat between her legs–at least that was her claim.
Toni would be dancing on the crowed floor with a nice looking guy, and the jungle-like pounding of the drums would beckon. Inevitably, she would find herself standing near the stage rocking to the beat as she stared at the drummer with her mouth open, breathing deeply with that “look” in her eyes every band member knew and relished.
She loved listening to both country and soul music, but dancing to the harsh rhythm of hard rock was so seductive she would only allow herself that pleasure on rare occasions and never with her best friends Brenda or Katie around because that was her enigmatic world. Her time to allow her demons out–in private.
Unfortunately, the powerful beat the talented drummers flawlessly played on the fake animal skins never carried over to their ability to skillfully milk the cow. After five or ten drum beats, this drummer was lighting up a hand-rolled cigarette before the cow could empty her…udders.
Sadly, again this night, she never came close–and these damn “dairy farmers” also never seemed to have protection.
“That was great, baby,” the farmer finally acknowledged her when she started to get out of his car. “Hey, where ya going? Close the door. Let’s just chill for a minute, and we can go again.”
Toni took a deep breath and then slowly turned and looked at him. He wasn’t very attractive, she noticed, and other than the myriad of tattoos, there was nothing physically remarkable about him either. Adding weight to the demeaning question of why, that she now asked herself, was the tattoo of a woman giving fellatio she spotted etched on the center of his pale white chest. Classy, she thought as she frowned, wondering how she missed seeing that and forgetting her eyes were mostly closed and her mouth open, sucking tongue.
“Like it,” he asked seeing the object of her attention. “That’s the image of the perfect woman. Interested?”
The grinning idiot proved one thing. It was the music that caused her to lose her panties, not this Ringo Starr imitation. He had the long hair of most rockers and a beard that rubbed against her skin. Sulking at that painful memory, she shook her head no.
“Come on, babe, that wasn’t my best effort,” he said as he started to become aroused.
“Maybe not,” Toni answered, also noticing the feeble resurrection, “but it was your last–with me, anyway.”
“Okay, beautiful, but…well, let me drive you back to the club.”
“Why?” she asked, seeing the stupid grin on his face and then noticed he was unashamedly stroking himself.
“Well, I promised the other guys to give them a turn with the prettiest girl there. And you were the prettiest in the building, babe.”
“A turn, huh?”
“Yeah, don’t tell me you don’t go for it, I saw that look in your eyes. You like to party, I can tell.”
Toni wanted to cuss him out, but she had pigsty shit on her as well. Fighting back her emotions, she climbed out of the car and started walking. It didn’t surprise her when moments later, after tramping through some overgrown weeds before reaching the street, his car pulled up beside her.
“Look, ah…girl…get in.” He lowered his window and shouted at the nameless female. “I’ll drop you off wherever you want. Hey, don’t be a bitch,” he added when she ignored him and continued walking, the rolling of her eyes signaling her intentions. “Well, screw you then!”
Toni watched as he raced off with tires squealing. She’d considered getting back in his car until he called her a bitch. She wasn’t afraid to walk home from the local park. Actually, she was only a few blocks from her home and chose to stop here and smoke for that reason.
“Okay, Toni, it’s time to draw a line in the sand,” she said as she looked around, anxious that angry drummer might return. “Here you are walking home alone after having given it up again in the back seat of an expensive car with a cheap asshole.” She looked around again, making sure she was walking alone. “He was a low life, but what does that make you? Hell, he didn’t even value you enough to take you to his hotel room.”
The next few steps were quietly given over to the tears leaking down her face. “Time to look elsewhere,” she said as she walked out of the park and onto her street, “for the love of my life. Or…or stop looking altogether and let it happen like Brenda and Katie are always saying.”
The girl, who was popular and dated frequently in high school, never allowed guys, other than these musical icons, to get past second base, made another vow as she spotted her house in the distance.
What happened? David wondered as he drove over to Mike’s apartment. How had things gone so bad–so quickly? Mike was very ill, Toni flying away to…somewhere, Brenda was angry with everyone, and none of his three friends were talking with each other. Mike and Toni, once so close he was privately envious of their passionate relationship, were now miles apart–literally and figuratively. How could you love someone that much and allow anything to come between you? he questioned.
David slowed as traffic came to a halt on Fifth Avenue. Usually, the variety of nice-looking girls, walking in every direction in this college section of Pittsburgh, proved a worthy distraction when waiting for the always congested traffic to start moving again. But that pleasing diversion failed to last. Again, the painful split up of his once-very-happy best friend Mike, and Toni, the beautiful girl Mike fell deeply in love with, returned to weigh heavily on his spirit. What could have possibly happened to break them up–again? David wondered. They survived one break up over a misunderstanding and seemed to have grown even closer. Could Mike have, no…he was too infatuated with Toni to be fooling around on her, David was sure of that.
“I thought the two of you had found your perfect match,” David whispered, talking to himself as he waited for the traffic to start moving. “Everything was working out great for the two of you. Yeah, Brenda and I were lovers a few times but the two of you…wow. Your loving relationship was the nirvana she and I were reaching for and now…”
David shook his head as he turned onto Mike’s street. It was the last place he wanted to be fearing that seeing his broken-hearted friend again might strain their friendship. He pulled up to Mike’s apartment, turned off his car, and–and sat there. A smile formed on his face when a treasured memory floated across his thoughts. It was the same broken-hearted guy, hiding up in his apartment, that had once made him laugh so hard tears leaked out his eyes when he was also at his wit’s end…
After the flight attendants had performed their monotone discussion about the exits, and as the plane climbed to its scheduled height, the dark-haired young woman sitting in seat 22A stared out the window as Pittsburgh shrunk from view. Only her anger kept the tears away because of the reason for this hurried departure. Funny, she thought, remembering another time about four years ago when she made a similar decision to change the direction of her life. At least this time she was wearing panties–also red, she realized. That mundane thought elicited a sneer no one on the plane could see.
Panty-less, that decision made partly from embarrassment. But this time, as she closed her eyes to keep her emotions at bay. It was because she was a fool–a fool with a very dim future that suddenly made her reaching thirty years of age…a retirement plan.
© 2018 by E. Lessly Taylor